Tonight’s film set: Xanadu. We’re inside a small palace on the very top of a mountain that overlooks a significant slice of Southern California. You could launch a hang glider from the porch of this home, which seems to be perched at the kind altitude where you need gas masks. There aren’t any Sherpas up here, alas, so it’s up to the usual crew to lug gear around for tonight’s set up. That includes a green screen for special effects (see below).
Lemme introduce you to the tireless crew: Ken Wales (Best Boy Electric), Trevor Crist (Key Grip), Josh Day (Best Boy Grip), Brandon Alperin (Swing -- or, as we like to say, “Schwiiinggg”), Jose Barocio (Boom Operator), John Lakin (Sound Mixer). No griping from this lot despite the late shift. Ken cracks on with things even though he has to jet off to do some filming for "American Idol" the next morning.
We’re using the home to film scenes of the less-than-tranquil home life of Fat Bert, small-time crime lord. In tonight’s scenes, Bert has a domestic argument with his domineering girlfriend, Porsche, which leads him to dispatch his two doltish henchman, Carl and Duke, to the trailer park where much of the story transpires. Oh yeah, and the “Alpaca mafia” shows up on Fat Bert’s doorstep. They’re a trio of hustlers who apply their Bernie Madoff instincts to the Alpaca business. Josh, the writer and director of “Hold On Loosely,” got the zany idea of an Alpaca mafia after watching one-too-many late-nite commercial. In fact, I’ll wager that Josh is a “As Seen on TV” junkie -- he also wrote a scene in which Mama Cheese enthuses about the set of knives she brought off television. Josh probably owns the Magic Bullet.
Another potential show stealer: David Poggi as the head of the Alpaca mafia. Bald-headed and muscular, David looks an awful lot like Vin Diesel, except he’s wearing a Peruvian vest that should come with its own pan-flute soundtrack. He’s adopted a thick South American accent for the role. Good luck to the other actors in trying not to crack up during the scene. Everyone’s in jovial spirits and tonight’s “lunch” (served at midnight) is the best meal of the week: Honey-fried chicken, mashed potato, cornbread, and fresh strawberries, melon, and pineapple. The people over at Jean Hamilton catering have outdone themselves tonight, which is no mean feat considering how good the food has been the previous 4 nights.
It’s our final night of using rented RV’s for makeup and editing. Jennifer Stoefen, a “data wrangler” who processes the ones and zeros from the Red Camera, has an automative strain of cabin fever. Everyone is ready to blow off some steam. Rus is cracking jokes about a Holocaust version of High School Musical starring a Jewish Zac Efron that had me howling and wanting to see his stand-up routine. Rus is Jewish. Us Gentiles could never get away with Holocaust jokes, let alone besmirching Vanessa Hudgens' name. The shoot wraps at 4 a.m. Week 1 is over. Things are shaping up nicely.
Next week: The hospital shoot (it’s gonna make “E.R.” look like “Doogie Howser.”)
-- Stephen Humphries (production assistant)
looks great guys!!!
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